You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
