I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Randomize
