I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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