I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Randomize
