Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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