Taylor Swift is so right about you.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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