No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
