Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
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