don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
