I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Randomize
