so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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