You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Randomize
