you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
