You work out of a Hotel?
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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