Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Randomize
