I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
