Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
