spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
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