dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Randomize
