i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
plz talk dirty to me
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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