yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
is wine microwaveable?
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Randomize
