even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
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