I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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