Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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