Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Randomize
