pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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