i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Randomize
