As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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