He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
