HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Randomize
