So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
