Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Randomize
