the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
