we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
