They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
