she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
