reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
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