I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
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