Please don't use social media to get back at me.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
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