We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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