girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Bang-toberfest begins!!
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
