She's JV to your varsity
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
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