The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
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