That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
