What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
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