I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
