I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Randomize