Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
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