it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Randomize
