I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
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