btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Randomize