Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
