you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Randomize
