omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Randomize
