i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Randomize
