I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
