I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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