you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
