no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
