You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
