You were right. It hurts to walk today.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
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