Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
