I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
