I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Randomize
