party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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