As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
I've blown a few things in my day
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize