"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
i believe in u and ur pee
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
