I showed him my bush... on skype.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
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