I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
